When Words Fail: Writing About Grief When You Don’t Know What to Say

Geri Watson
Sep 19
2 min read

Grief is messy. It’s raw, unpredictable, and often beyond language. When we sit down to write about it, we may find ourselves staring at a blank page, unsure where to begin—or if we even can.

And that’s okay.

Grief doesn’t follow rules. Neither should your writing.

This post is for anyone who wants to write through their grief but feels stuck, overwhelmed, or afraid of getting it “wrong.” Spoiler: there is no wrong way to write about loss.

😶 Why Grief Is So Hard to Put Into Words

Grief is not just sadness. It’s a tangled knot of emotions—anger, confusion, guilt, longing, numbness. Sometimes it feels like a storm. Other times, like silence. And language, with all its limitations, can feel inadequate.

You might worry:

“I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling.”
“I’ll sound dramatic or broken.”
“What if I write something that hurts someone else?”

These fears are valid. But they don’t have to stop you.

Writing about grief isn’t about crafting perfect sentences. It’s about showing up to the page with honesty, even when honesty is chaotic.

✍️ Strategies for Writing Through Emotional Blocks

If you’re struggling to find the words, try these gentle approaches to unlock your voice:

🌀 1. Freewriting

Set a timer for 5–10 minutes and write without stopping. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or structure. Just let the words spill out.

Prompt: “I don’t know what to say, but I’ll start with…”

You might be surprised by what surfaces when you stop trying to control it.

🌊 2. Stream-of-Consciousness

Write exactly what’s running through your mind, even if it’s fragmented or repetitive. Let your thoughts flow like a river.

Example: “I miss you. I miss you. I don’t know how to do this. I saw your sweater today. I wanted to scream. I didn’t. I just folded it.”

This style mirrors the way grief actually feels—disjointed, raw, real.

🎭 3. Metaphor and Imagery

Sometimes emotions are easier to express through symbols. Use metaphors to describe your grief.

Prompt: “If my grief were a weather pattern, it would be…” “If my grief were a room, it would look like…”

Metaphors allow you to explore feelings indirectly, which can be less overwhelming.

💌 4. Letters to the Lost

Write a letter to the person you lost. Say what you wish you could say. Ask questions. Share memories. Rage, cry, laugh.

Prompt: “Dear [Name], I don’t know how to begin, but I need to tell you…”

This can be especially healing when there are unresolved emotions or things left unsaid.

🧡 Embrace Imperfection and Vulnerability

Grief is not tidy. Your writing doesn’t have to be either.

Let your sentences be messy. Let your emotions contradict themselves. Let your voice shake. Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s truth. And truth is what makes your writing powerful.

You don’t have to share what you write. But if you do, know that your words might help someone else feel less alone.