🎄 Holiday Grief: When Joy and Sorrow Coexist
- Geri Watson
- Jan 9
- 3 min read
The holidays arrive each year wrapped in expectation; twinkling lights, familiar music, gatherings, rituals, and the cultural insistence that this is a season of joy.
But for those who are grieving, the holidays can feel like a collision of emotions.
Joy doesn’t disappear, but neither does sorrow.
Instead, they sit side by side, sharing the same table, the same room, the same heart.
Holiday grief is not a contradiction.
It is a truth of being human.
🌙 The Season of Mixed Emotions
Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays.
It doesn’t soften because the calendar says it’s time to celebrate.
It doesn’t wait politely for January.
Instead, it weaves itself into the season:
A memory rising during a song
A sudden ache while decorating
A longing stirred by a familiar scent
A quiet moment in the middle of a crowded room
A smile that turns into tears without warning
This is not emotional confusion.
It is emotional honesty.
🕯️ Joy and Sorrow Are Not Opposites
We often imagine joy and sorrow as two ends of a spectrum as if feeling one means we cannot feel the other.
But grief teaches us that emotions are not linear.
They overlap.
They blend.
They coexist.
You may find yourself:
Laughing at a memory and crying moments later
Feeling grateful and heartbroken at the same time
Wanting to participate and wanting to withdraw
Holding hope and heaviness in the same breath
This coexistence is not a sign that you’re “doing grief wrong.”
It is a sign that your heart is spacious enough to hold complexity.
🌿 The Pressure to “Be Okay”
Holiday culture often demands cheerfulness, bright smiles, festive energy, emotional availability.
But grief doesn’t always align with these expectations.
You may feel pressure to:
Hide your sadness
Avoid talking about the person you miss
Pretend the holidays feel the same
Keep traditions alive even when they hurt
“Be strong” for others
But you are not required to perform joy.
You are allowed to show up as you are; tender, tired, hopeful, grieving, or somewhere in between.
Your truth belongs in the season too.
🎁 Honoring What Hurts and What Helps
Holiday grief is deeply personal.
What comforts one person may overwhelm another.
You are allowed to choose what supports your heart.
You might:
Keep certain traditions
Change others
Create new rituals
Take breaks when needed
Say no to gatherings
Say yes to moments of connection
Let yourself feel whatever arises
There is no right way to grieve during the holidays.
There is only your way.
🌤️ A Gentle Holiday Ritual for Coexisting Emotions
If you want a simple practice to hold both joy and sorrow, here is a soft ritual:
1. Light two candles.
One for joy. One for sorrow. Let them burn side by side.
2. Name one thing that brings you comfort.
A memory, a person, a ritual, a moment of peace.
3. Name one thing that feels heavy.
A longing, a fear, a tradition that hurts, a moment you’re dreading.
4. Place a hand on your heart.
Feel the truth of both emotions.
5. Take one slow breath.
Let the coexistence be enough.
This ritual is not about balancing emotions.
It is about honoring them.
🌾 Love Lives in Both the Light and the Shadow
Holiday grief is a testament to love; love that continues, love that remembers, love that aches, love that hopes.
The person you miss is woven into your story, your rituals, your memories, your becoming.
Joy does not erase sorrow.
Sorrow does not erase joy.
Both are expressions of love.
The holidays may feel different now, but different does not mean empty.
There is still room for meaning, connection, tenderness, and truth.
🕯️ You Don’t Have to Navigate Holiday Grief Alone
At Orion’s Legacy Editing, I believe in honoring the full spectrum of holiday emotions; the joy, the sorrow, the longing, the love, and the rituals that help us feel connected.
Whether you’re writing your story, creating ceremony, or simply trying to understand what this season stirs in you, I’m here to walk with you.
Your grief matters.
Your joy matters.
Your story deserves space.
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